I have really been pulled towards God and His amazing love since my daughter Kelly passed on. I was on my way home yesterday in my Dad’s old truck that I inherited from Mom. I love that old truck. It smells like Dad. I made it my daily driver. It’s a beat up old 1979 dodge power wagon. A real man’s truck. Dad used it for a work truck and to go back in the hills in Arkansas and cut wood and haul the wood out of the bottom lands.
I have had some difficult issues going on in my life lately and it has been on my mind . I thought I had prayed about it and given it to the Lord . However yesterday the Lord reminded me very gently of this issue as I was praying driving down the road. We were talking back and forth when out of the blue The Lord causes me, I use this word because I definitely did not want to admit this to God or myself. To well shoot I will just give it to you straight up.
Lord you know this issue I have been having, well its taking up way to much of my time and its causing me to be anxious and fearful. The Lords is causing my feeble brain to begin to speak to my heart right about now. Lord I guess shoot I know yes Lord. I thought, Yes Lord, well yes Lord. Brain and heart still working it out. Although its only about a foot between them.
Then My mouth opens and I said , I was afraid Lord if I prayed your Will be done, I wouldn’t get what I WANTED! Bingo. A huge burden lifted off my heart and brain and I realized for the first time in a long time, thatI had been praying my will. I just would go to God in prayer and talk to him about this and he would listen to me talk about this issue and I guess I never listened to him. I didn’t simply want to say, I trust you Lord with all things. Your will be done in this issue. I needed deep down to be in control of my emotions and thoughts . I got this.
So The Lord said now that I have your heart. I want to share something else with you. You have to ,not need but have to trust me with all things. I will cause you to work out all the details in your daily walk. Look Tom, my son. Everything is mine and I control everything for my purposes . All creation including you. I really got this my son. I won’t let you down. Yes I am able and willing. So Lord you mean well I’ll be. I would have never thought of that. Yes my son he does and will.
So you mean the old devil was manipulating me. Yes I am afraid so. Mmmmmm me thinking again. So I need to be real careful that I throw this walk of mine you have me on up against your word. All the time. Yep it’s why I left it with you. Like when I said John 14: 27 Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid. . I wasn’t asking, I was telling you. I knew he would try to cause you to fear and be anxious about different things in your life. I also said be still Tom. Yep. Oh I got it.
It is a fact who ever you are. In this world it is a mind heart battle. If satan can win your mind he will get your heart. If he steals your heart he has your life. Proverbs 4:23 Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life. I am still thinking right now that my life comes down to is God real or not. If he is then why do I not believe and trust him in all things and not be fearful and worry but take my issues to him with thanksgiving and supplication, leaving it there at the throne of grace and move on. Todays worries are sufficient enough for me and why worry about those things. God has that to.
It’s a fact do I trust God? Do I believe God can deliver me out of anything? I will tell you from my life experiences he not only can but will. Over and over he will. We just have to guard our hearts. One more thing before I close. Carolyn and I were at a church across town last night for a grief share program. The speaker was an artist who sculpted clay. He gave us some clay and begin to tell a story about a broken heart. As we sculpted our own broken hearts with holes in them ,cracked and broken. His point was only Jesus can heal them and mend those hearts if we will only give them to him.
Much Love Tom